Sunday

Physically, feeling about the same as yesterday. Emotionally, feeling much better. Amazing service at church today. Feel recharged and ready to keep fighting.

Also came across this statement in my devotional from Joyce Meyer: “It has been said that fear is the opposite of faith, and that is true. We can’t live in faith and fear at the same time. Fear paralyzes us and keeps us from receiving God’s promises. It keeps us from stepping out and obeying what God has called us to do.”

I’ve definitely been dealing with a little bit of fear lately. Fear that this is as well as I’m ever going to get. Fear that I’ll never be able to contribute financially again. Fear that if I push myself too hard, I’ll end up back in the hospital. I’m afraid to make commitments because of the fear of getting sick and not being able to keep them. But each of these fears is completely irrelevant in God’s bigger plan for my life. They just don’t matter. And allowing myself to focus on them just holds me back.

Breakfast was homemade granola (gluten free oats, walnuts, almonds, brazil nuts, sunflower seeds, coconut flakes, coconut oil, honey, and maple syrup) and blueberries with almond milk. And a green juice (kale, celery, fennel, apple, cucumbers).

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Lunch was leftover chicken soup (the last of it 😦 ) and more of the same green juice.

Dinner was tuna salad. Canned, chunk light tuna (lower mercury than albacore) with raw sauerkraut, soy-free vegenaise, and organic Dijon mustard. I desperately wanted to put this on a big bed of leafy greens, but knew I wouldn’t be able to eat them. Need a few more days of healing for my tongue to tackle raw leaves.

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My version of a milkshake. This juice tastes incredibly sweet to me, so it’s a perfect dessert/sweet treat. I should try blending it with frozen strawberries! That would be sooo good! It’s 3 beets, one HUGE carrot, a sweet potato, and a big chunk of ginger. Adding an apple would’ve made it even sweeter, but it didn’t need it.

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I’ve been struggling to get in my samento and banderol treatments. They’re the herbal tinctures I take to treat Lyme. They have to be taken on an empty stomach, at least 15 minutes apart from each other, and at least 15 minutes before eating a meal. This is easy to do in the morning, but I’m supposed to do it twice a day, and I forget to time it correctly. I’ve usually just eaten or am sitting down to eat when I think of it. I’ve also been trying to take L-glutamine to heal my leaky gut, but it also has to be taken on an empty stomach. I know it’s possible to get all these supplements in during the day, I just need a better system for taking them correctly. I did get in 2 servings of L-glutamine today. Mixed it in pomegranate juice. That’s motivation to remember to take it- it’s the only way I’d allow myself such a sweet, processed juice.

Took my end-of-day probiotics with a few watermelon slices. I’m currently taking 3 high potency probiotic capsules and 3 probiotic HSO (homeostatic soil organisms) tablets. Since I’m still taking nystatin and other herbal antifungals (grapeseed extract, oregano oil) during the day (even though it doesn’t appear to be working) I can only take the probiotics before bed. The antifungals would kill off the probiotics before they got a chance to colonize.

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