Saturday

So, I guess this qualifies as a set back. Not feeling well again today. Exhausted and not thinking straight. Lip is swollen around a lesion, tongue doesn’t seem any worse, but its definitely swollen, and there is clearly thrush lining up behind that lesion. My cheek isn’t swollen anymore, but the offending area inside my mouth is still sensitive and sticks out a bit, so it’s difficult to avoid biting it when I eat. I’m tired, and emotional, and frustrated. I thought I was mentally prepared if I got sick again. And I’m not THAT sick. It’s just disappointing to have a setback.

I couldn’t think straight to put a proper breakfast together, so I just had gf cinnamon raisin toast with organic butter and a cup of warm almond milk with stevia a pie spices. Took me a long time to eat it, but I did finish it all.

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Was super excited to juice these golden beets I got during my last trip to Whole Foods. Never had golden beets before.

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Juiced them with the greens, so the color’s not real pretty.

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And… it made me throw up. Several minutes after I drank the juice, I got nauseas and vomited every bit of what I drank. Not sure if my body’s just way out of whack today, if there was something wrong with the beets and my body was doing a good job of protecting me from it, or if I just will never be able to eat golden beets. I drank part of a club soda and some peppermint tea (from the garden) and was feeling significantly better within an hour or so.

Ate leftover cabbage and marinara with daiya cheese for lunch. It was good, but hard to eat, so I only ate about half before giving up.

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I also ate another piece of raw vegan cheesecake with strawberries.

My doctor asked about sugar cravings at my last visit. I never thought of that as a symptom of anything being wrong, I just figured I’ve always had a sweet tooth, and that’s just something I’ll always want. But I think he saw it as a sign that I still had a lot of fungus in my system. I don’t know, but I’ve definitely been craving it these last few days. And it’s almost like an addiction-craving.

My cheesecake satisfied the craving, but I’m wondering if the agave in it is actually feeding the candida in my system and if I should not be eating it.

Obviously needing some encouragement today, and my daily devotional delivered. From Joyce Meyer, titled Let the Storm Subside.

“I have faced so many storms in my life, some like the quick afternoon storms that are common in the summertime and some that seemed like category four hurricanes!

If I have learned anything about weathering those storms, it has been that they don’t last forever, and I don’t need to make major decisions in the midst of them.

Thoughts and feelings run wild in the midst of crises, but those are exactly the times we need to be careful about making decisions. I often say to myself, “Let emotions subside before you decide.”

We must remain calm and discipline ourselves to focus on doing what we can do and trust God to do what we can’t do.
Instead of drowning in worry and fear, get in touch with God, who sees past the storm and orchestrates the big picture.

He makes sure everything that needs to happen in our lives happens at the right time, moves at the appropriate speed, and causes us to arrive safely at the destinations He has planned for us.

Prayer Starter: God, I know that I can’t control everything, so I will do what I can and trust You to do what I can’t do. The storms of life do not control me. I trust Your plans for me.”

Just what I needed to hear.

I ended up taking a pain pill tonight (hydrocodone/acetaminophen). Hated to take it since I’m generally trying to get OFF prescription meds, but it works VERY well and really helped me get through dinner, and my daughter’s bedtime routine.

Dinner was leftovers. Stuffed cabbage and steamed broccoli. I split the broccoli with baby girl, and only ate one of the cabbage rolls, but I was able to take all my supplements and meds.

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Praying for a healing night’s rest and progress in the right direction when I wake up. Regardless, it will be the “right” direction, because it’s in God’s hands and I’ve done all I know to do at this point.

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